I sent BT an email recently asking for an interim bill. My email consisted of:

Hi. On account foo, can I get an interim bill please. I’ve registered online, but it’s not pulling up my details. Thanks.

The reply, which makes me wonder what they thought I was writing was this:

Dear Mr Treharne

Thank you for your e-mail regarding an interim bill.

I would like to begin by offering my sincere apologies for the inconvenience and distress you have undoubtedly been caused. In response to your e-mail, I would like to inform you that I have gone ahead and converted your billing type from paper bill to dual billing. It would take 5 to 7 working days for your online account to start.

As per your request, if you want an interim bill, please send us your consent. The sublet statement would cost you £4.70 and it would reach your billing address within the next 7 working days.

I trust that this email will have helped to provide you with the clarification needed and I hope that it has also demonstrated to you that your concerns have been looked into thoroughly and professionally. Please accept my apologies for any inconvenience you may have been caused and my thanks for your patience and co-operation in this matter.

If you should have any further queries please do not hesitate to contact us again via e-mail or kindly contact customer services at 0800 800 150 (08:00 AM to 08:00 PM, Monday to Saturday). This number is free from BT’s landline. Thank you for contacting BT.

Yours sincerely,

I mean, that’s suitable for a response to a complaint, but it’s a little OTT for a simple request.

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